[closed post] everything ends

[protagonisthalo]

((cw: death & gun violence))

Luo Binghe typically comes to full alertness instantly upon waking, his instincts honed by years of constant danger. This time he drifts in and out, his mind struggling to free itself from the mud several times before it's pulled under again.

The fourth time he wakes, there is a little space in his head for thought. He is able to wonder what he's doing here, why he isn't in his bed, especially with Shen Yuan's warm weight on his lap—

Not warm. Luo Binghe's eyes fly open, and red fills his vision. Shen Yuan, limp in his arms, blood all over both of them and the floor. He cups Shen Yuan's face—right where he must have already cupped it, if the fingerprint smears of blood are any indication—and sheer panic, as strong and sudden as pain, overrides the dullness throughout his body. "Shen Yuan," he gasps, putting a hand to his lover's chest. Dried blood nearly obscures the small, deep wound there. He leans down to put his cheek next to Shen Yuan's lax mouth. No breath. No qi emanates from his body either, not even as much as a mortal human would have, as though Shen Yuan were an inanimate object.

Luo Binghe stares, frozen. An old darkness is stirring in him. His mother, lifeless on her sleeping mat in their little shack, unable to take even a bite of the congee he'd brought her. He knows how it is to lose something irreplaceable; his body knows the path of it. What seems impossible, in time, comes to feel inevitable. Luo Binghe can no longer imagine what his life would have been like if his mother hadn't passed. But here, in the suspended instant of loss, it still feels possible to reverse it. The world has shifted, but not yet settled into its new shape. Shen Yuan was just here—the last thing Luo Binghe remembers is welcoming him to their anniversary dinner—and it seems trivially easy to reach back, pull him out of that memory and overwrite the bloody tableau in front of him. He gazes at Shen Yuan, seeing without understanding, his mind fighting for each last moment of blankness before comprehension ruins him.

Magnus, he thinks, his mind moving slow as honey. He needs Magnus; Magnus will help. He gathers Shen Yuan in his arms and pushes himself to his feet, swaying dangerously. He feels scoured out, limbs numb, his body pushed past some breaking point he doesn't remember hitting. Xin Mo is at his feet. The sight of it rouses fear that Luo Binghe doesn't understand; his mind is too preoccupied keeping itself empty to think about it. He leaves it on the floor and stumbles toward the hallway, Shen Yuan nauseatingly limp in his arms. Magnus lives outside—or did he move inside?—no matter. Luo Binghe will check every room in this place if he has to.

Comments

[summerdude]

Magnus is alone in camp. Alex and Drosera are both elsewhere, and he's lounging on the trampoline, rereading Pet Sematary for the fifth time, when he senses a presence. "Hey, what's u—" he starts, sitting up, and then he blinks, taking in the sight of Luo Binghe, the indescribable look on his face, and the limp form in his arms. "Hey, what's going on?"

[protagonisthalo]

"Shen Yuan," Luo Binghe says, his voice hoarse. He steps closer so that Magnus can see Shen Yuan's beloved crumpled form. "Your powers—"

[summerdude]

"What happened???" Magnus asks, half-bouncing, half-rolling to the edge of the trampoline, already reaching for Shen Yuan.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe shakes his head. "I don't know. I—can't remember. I woke up, and—" He clutches Shen Yuan, unwilling to let go of him, but moving into Magnus' reach.

[summerdude]

Magnus is summoning summer, thoughtlessly, bright and hot enough that any lingering snow in a thirty-foot radius is obliterated, melting away. He pushes it into Shen Yuan's body, forcing him to brim with it. His own eyes are closed. He can't see the bright flash burning through the camp, except for the bright red against his eyelids.

His will is strong. A bullet, collapsed from the impact of hitting Shen Yuan's body, gets pushed back out again. Blood pools over both Luo Binghe's and Magnus's hands. Some flesh knits together.

Shen Yuan's heart doesn't start beating.

[protagonisthalo]

The wound somewhat heals, but the body still looks like something other than Shen Yuan, a facsimile. He is not present. Luo Binghe sways. His qi isn't working right, his head pounding. Shen Yuan blurs in front of him.

[summerdude]

Hanguang-jun said that Magnus had qi. Shen Yuan uses qi. Maybe if alf seidr is failing, something else can work? Magnus closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, but can't summon the wolves to scrub out his mind. He envisions himself as Yggdrasil anyway, though, pulling his sap and trying to feed a vine of it to Shen Yuan. But Shen Yuan's body can't hold it.

He looks up to Luo Binghe, stricken, and tries one more time to push his healing, or his qi, or whatever, into Shen Yuan. But it courses through Shen Yuan's body into Luo Binghe's. There are shadows in his mind, from some unclear source — the sword, maybe? — and even without Magnus's bidding, his healing sweeps through, mending those smudges.

Memory rips through him, rough and merciless. A chandelier, crashing down. A gun, hanging in midair, firing. Shen Yuan, diving... Shen Yuan, falling.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe's mind clears, strength flooding back to his limbs. He takes in a startled breath, suddenly able to recognize what was wrong. Xin Mo. It must have turned on him at last—he woke with it at his side—which explains the gap in his memory. Xin Mo is an ancient sword, not wielded by anyone else within Luo Binghe's lifetime, but there are legends about its wielders going mad, losing their senses.

He could have done anything, under its thrall. Did he...?

"Keep trying," he urges.

[summerdude]

Magnus is staring at the bullet, one hand on Shen Yuan's wrist. He's still shoving healing into him, using enough energy that, unbeknownst to him, a trickle of blood is starting to come out of his nose. "Dude," he says, voice hollowed out. "Luo Binghe. He's— I can't—"

[protagonisthalo]

"He is not." If Magnus says it out loud, Luo Binghe will lose any fragile control he has. "Do you know of anyone else with healing knowledge or magic? This place, so many different worlds, someone must be able to—"

[summerdude]

Magnus presses his lips together. "Mothwing," he says, uncertainly. "But she only knows medicine. Luo Binghe, I—"

He can hold it together for Luo Binghe. It gives him something to focus on. He puts a hand on Luo Binghe's shoulder, directing the healing to him on purpose, as if it'll be any fucking help at all. "I think..." He frowns. This is why it was good that he was the one attacked, before. He could withstand it. He thought Shen Yuan could, too, though. Isn't Shen Yuan supposed to be immortal?

The chandelier. The floating gun. Softly, harrowed, "It happened again?"

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe catches his meaning. "The same as happened to you? The sword falling?" He wishes Magnus would stop healing him. It's wasting effort that could go toward Shen Yuan, and the stronger Luo Binghe feels, the more frightening the empty space is where the memory of what happened should be.

[summerdude]

"Do you remember where the gun came from?"

[protagonisthalo]

"I can't remember anything. Is that what—? Nina has one. And Enjolras."

[summerdude]

"I saw your memories. There was a chandelier that fell? Kind of like the fan, with me? And then a hovering gun..." Magnus is frowning. It makes no sense. It's hard to focus, with Shen Yuan cold, waxen, limp in front of him, his pulseless wrist in Magnus's hand. Frankly, he wants to scream. This isn't supposed to happen. Not here. Especially not to a guy whose relationship to mortality was is was, Magnus thought, like his own.

He likes Luo Binghe well enough. He can't picture this guy doing the same things now he did in the past. But he's well aware they're not close, not specifically friends. Not like Nina and Luo Binghe. "Should I get Nina?"

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe squeezes his eyes shut, trying hard to remember. If Magnus saw his memories, they must be within him somewhere. But it's useless, even with Magnus easing Xin Mo's other effects; the wound it inflicted on his memory has already scarred. And even without Xin Mo's influence, his mind is fractured, unable to focus with Shen Yuan still and cold in his arms.

He has been avoiding using Xin Mo. He would not have drawn it for no reason. He must have been fighting someone, someone powerful, and then Xin Mo turned on him and he passed out, unable to save Shen Yuan from...

But a cultivator of Shen Yuan's caliber should have been able to endure it. Nothing makes sense, least of all the body in his arms. "Yes," he says, "Nina." She's very powerful too, even though her powers of healing are gone, and she's clever, and perhaps she can fix this. Luo Binghe looks down at Shen Yuan's slack face, his insides turning to ice. There has to be someone who can, or nothing makes sense.

[summerdude]

"I'll have to let go to get her," Magnus warns. He's warning both of them, actually. He doesn't want to let go of Shen Yuan. Just in case...

But no. Magnus should be more pragmatic about death. He's dead, after all. His mom is dead. He knows better than most that death doesn't give a shit. Shen Yuan is dead, again, for a second time, and like all second real deaths Magnus has heard of, it seems like it's for keeps. He grits his teeth and sets his jaw. He still doesn't want to let go.

Unless -- SecUnit? SecUnit probably has a drone around to send for Galahad, if Magnus needs help. Maybe he could ask it to send for Nina. And then he doesn't have to let go.

[protagonisthalo]

"Try again," Luo Binghe pleads. He hates the sound of it from his mouth, pathetic, as if not even he believes it will help, but just maybe one more time.

[summerdude]

Magnus can feel himself flagging. He doesn't care. He takes a deep breath and tries to will Shen Yuan's heart into beating again, even just once.

It doesn't.

If Shen Yuan were alive, Magnus would be crushing his hand. He probably is crushing his hand. But Shen Yuan doesn't care. Shen Yuan is dead.

"SecUnit?" Magnus calls. He doesn't want to let go. "SecUnit? Are you there? Can you get Nina?"

[recognizance]

The drone is set to activate as soon as it detects Magnus's or Galahad's voice raised on the word SecUnit. (Because Murderbot knew they were never going to remember whatever secret code they came up with when they actually needed it.) It does so now. It pings SecUnit, and also makes a literal ping! noise as it emerges from the foliage.

"Copy," says the tinny little voice. Then it says, with considerably more SecUnit-like inflection, "What the fuck happened?"

(In the Mansion it's already on its way to Nina's room, at slightly less than top speed, which is still really fucking fast. Simultaneously it tells the nearest drone to notify Galahad as well, having learned its lesson the last time.)

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe's heart leaps with strangled hope when Magnus summons his warm energy once again, willing Shen Yuan to stir. He can imagine it so clearly: Shen Yuan blinking his eyes open, his sweet forehead creasing at the worry on Luo Binghe's face, reaching up a hand to pat Luo Binghe's head. It's so vivid in his mind that it feels more real than what's in front of him, Shen Yuan still lifeless and unmoving.

"If someone did this—" The thought makes him close his eyes, rage choking the words from his throat. If someone did this, there won't be a hell deep enough for Luo Binghe to bury them in.

[summerdude]

"I don't know," Magnus tells SecUnit. "It happened again."

Then he turns to Luo Binghe. This is a risk, but if Magnus is focusing on him and his reaction, he's not focusing on his own. Nina is coming. It'll be okay. "I can't help him," he says, mouth wobbling around the words. "He's gone."

He still doesn't want to let go of Shen Yuan's wrist. He does, though, and goes to pull Luo Binghe into a hug.

[protagonisthalo]

"No." Luo Binghes tenses in Magnus' embrace. He is not good at receiving affection, unless it's sexual in nature; he never learned how to trust it. He doesn't want Magnus. He wants Shen Yuan. It's not fair, he already learned this lesson: that you cannot love someone enough to save them from death. He already knows life is unfair, especially to him. He refuses to learn it again.

[recognizance]

"I'm locating Nina Zenik now," the little voice says evenly, and, "Code Peepers initiated; proceed?"

It's asking if Magnus wants Galahad to come to him where he is. (Given the presence of Asshole Luo Binghe in what's already a emotionally charged situation, it figures caution is warranted. The last thing anyone needs is for a fistfight to break out.)

[ravkanwitch]

Nina is currently leaving her room, on the way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, so it shouldn't take SecUnit long to find her. "SecUnit?" She asks, curiously. They've never directly sought her out before. They had a brief conversation after the battle against the undead -- but that's been it.