[closed post - experimentation]

[protagonisthalo]

((NSFW continuation of this thread!))

Shen Yuan is often shy, but he seems to be leaning into it—as though it is part of his role as a woman, even though it is already his nature. Luo Binghe is happy to play his part in return, using his fingers to tilt Shen Yuan's chin upward to lift those demure brown eyes. Ragnelle's eyes, but he has already ceased thinking of them as such. "My wife need not find the words to express her desires. I will take care of everything."

Comments

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan flushes bright. "Shameless," he hisses, but Ragnelle's mouth smiles too much through it. "Of course I understood Binghe's prowess before. No, I meant—what you were saying about bodies. When—when we argued, last time."

[protagonisthalo]

"Oh?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan licks his lips. Her lips. "This body--um. I was kind of. Roleplaying? At first? Like--pretending to be some--blushing new bride, or whatever, one of your wives, but then--somewhere along the way I just. Became myself again." She's going so red admitting this, given all the stuff she'd said while she was being herself. But it's just embarrassment, not shame. "And you--you liked it because I was me. It was different for you, than--?"

[protagonisthalo]

"I could tell it was you. Especially while intimate. Your expressions, your voice, the sounds you make—they are all familiar and beloved to me." He kisses Shen Yuan's other cheek. "It was perhaps more jarring to you when I appeared to you as Aleksander, because you expect me to look like myself. But I am accustomed to looking past your form—or rather, noticing how your presence transforms it. I liked it," he confirms. "And I could tell how much you did."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan swats at him, embarrassed, but makes herself nod instead of denying it. "It's--it feels. Easier. Not because this body is a woman,¹ but because it isn't, like-- I spent so long having to... pretend. To be. You know. Cold, and aloof--enough like Shen Qingqiu that no one who knew him would suspect a change beyond a qi deviation. Obviously here I'm working on not pretending anymore, but it's still." He bites his lip. "I told Magnus I was worried I wouldn't have enough of a connection to his body to be pulled back in when this whole bodyswap ends. But--I kind of wish I could stay? Not that I want to steal Ragnelle's body forever! I just--"

¹ It is definitely at least a little bit because this body is a woman.

[protagonisthalo]

"It pains you to be associated with Shen Qingqiu?"

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan makes a face. "It's stupid. It's not like anyone here knows who he was or what he did, except for you, and we've—been over how you feel about it."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe chooses his words carefully. He does not want to make Shen Yuan feel bad for something he cannot help, especially since they've already argued about it. He does not think of Shen Qingqiu when he looks at Shen Yuan, but there is some tension—some amount of work his heart must do to separate the two men—that is absent now, and the absence of it is a relief. But he would never say it.

"I will have you in whatever way I can, and count myself impossibly lucky. But the fact that you dislike it—that it matters to you that he hurt me—is not something I find stupid."

[peaklordshen]

"Okay," says Shen Yuan. "Um. Thanks. And--I kind of think. Avoiding thinking about how I didn't like it. Made me fixate on--how attractive his features are or whatever. So I could think about it as a good thing, instead of." She swallows. "Instead of this thing that neither of us like, but neither of us can change, I wanted there to be--a benefit to being in that form. But it really doesn't matter to you, and I shouldn't have insisted it should. I'm sorry."

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe did not expect or require this apology, but it surprises him how good it feels to hear it. The idea that Shen Qingqiu's unwanted presence between them is a shared burden eases some weight he did not know he was carrying. "My love," he says, his voice tight. "The benefit is that it's you. I don't care if Shen Qingqiu is attractive or unattractive"—he is unattractive—"but his body allows you to be here with me, and for that I would even thank the heavens for his existence."

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan swallows, hard. It's true--if he hadn't transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu, into PIDW, he couldn't have been taken here--this place's magics only extend to fiction. "Me too," he admits, and then laughs, a little wetly. "Everyone who knew me in my first life would think I've lost my mind, but. I'm glad of Shen Qingqiu's existence, because he brought me to you."

[protagonisthalo]

"I also liked hearing you call me husband," Luo Binghe confesses. "I'm glad you're not truly a woman, but"—heat suffuses his voice, unbidden—"I wouldn't mind having you as my wife."

[peaklordshen]

"Binghe," Shen Yuan chides, her face heating in response to the heat in his voice. She pulls him down again, burying her face in his throat, and mutters, muffled by his robes that he is somehow still wearing, "obviously—who wouldn't want to be your wife?"

[protagonisthalo]

"Beloved..." Luo Binghe immediately wants to push further, to extract a solid promise from this shy admission. He has never seen the point of waiting to wed Shen Yuan; he was ready after their first date. But Shen Yuan is hesitant about romance, and it's possible that this statement is itself the limit of his boldness. Luo Binghe cherishes it, storing the sentiment in his heart to revisit at a later time. He kisses the top of Shen Yuan's head, weak with love.

[peaklordshen]

Shen Yuan squirms around in his arms, pulling at his robes. "You should take these off. How are you going to lie there clothed while your wife is naked?"

[protagonisthalo]

"As my wife wishes." Luo Binghe quickly strips off his clothes and then goes right back to snuggling Shen Yuan. He always feels happy in the aftermath of their lovemaking, but there is an extra lightness between them now, either from the absence of Shen Qingqiu or from the things they've expressed. "What shall we do today? For my part, I would happily keep you in bed until Ragnelle returns to her form. But is there anything you'd like to do—with me or for yourself—that would feel better without Shen Qingqiu's spectre lurking?"

[peaklordshen]

"I don't know," says Shen Yuan truthfully. Staying in bed with Binghe until they swap back is a really tempting idea—but is that a waste of this body? He flushes. "I think—I think I just want to hold you. We can—we can mess around more, or not, but—I just want—"

[protagonisthalo]

"Yes," Luo Binghe says quickly. Shen Yuan does not need to justify it. "That would be perfect." He tucks a lock of curly hair behind Shen Yuan's ear, then leans over and kisses the soft skin below his temple where it had lain.