It wasn't that easy. Luo Binghe also resisted it. And the truth is that if it had been easier for him to accept, things might have gone better for Claudius. What Claudius knew about Luo Binghe—how easily he submitted to the touch of an attractive man—was a large part of why Luo Binghe was threatened by him. It seems so foolish now, when loving men—a man—has brought him unimaginable happiness. But, even with all that in mind, it might indeed be said that it was easier for him than Shen Yuan.
Under truth compulsion, Claudius said the one good quality he saw in Luo Binghe was his protectiveness. Even now he harbors resentment for Claudius' brother, and was viciously glad to hear of his death. But to him, caring so much so quickly was humiliating. He expected Claudius to view it with contempt, not value it even through his hatred.
Now, Shen Yuan says that he also admires how Luo Binghe cares for those important to him. He has never thought of it as a good quality, because he knows the reasons behind it. Eternally that deprived child, Luo Binghe still hates for anyone to touch what he counts as his. It is possessiveness and a need for control, not generosity.
Yet he does love fiercely. Almost debilitatingly. He has long thought it his worst flaw, the shameful result of a childhood deprived of love, something he should have left in the Abyssal pits. Something shifts within him when he considers that it might instead be his greatest strength. That the people who like him might do so because he loves them—because of how he shows his love—rather than pitying him for it. It goes against everything he knows about the world, but he has seen in Shen Yuan how blind a man can be to his own goodness. Might he have a clearer view of Luo Binghe than Luo Binghe himself?
He wishes desperately that he could discuss it with Liu Mingyan or Ning Yingying. Someone who has known him for longer, outside this disorienting place that makes him a stranger to himself.
He burrows a little deeper into Shen Yuan's embrace. "It is because my love language is acts of service."
no subject
Under truth compulsion, Claudius said the one good quality he saw in Luo Binghe was his protectiveness. Even now he harbors resentment for Claudius' brother, and was viciously glad to hear of his death. But to him, caring so much so quickly was humiliating. He expected Claudius to view it with contempt, not value it even through his hatred.
Now, Shen Yuan says that he also admires how Luo Binghe cares for those important to him. He has never thought of it as a good quality, because he knows the reasons behind it. Eternally that deprived child, Luo Binghe still hates for anyone to touch what he counts as his. It is possessiveness and a need for control, not generosity.
Yet he does love fiercely. Almost debilitatingly. He has long thought it his worst flaw, the shameful result of a childhood deprived of love, something he should have left in the Abyssal pits. Something shifts within him when he considers that it might instead be his greatest strength. That the people who like him might do so because he loves them—because of how he shows his love—rather than pitying him for it. It goes against everything he knows about the world, but he has seen in Shen Yuan how blind a man can be to his own goodness. Might he have a clearer view of Luo Binghe than Luo Binghe himself?
He wishes desperately that he could discuss it with Liu Mingyan or Ning Yingying. Someone who has known him for longer, outside this disorienting place that makes him a stranger to himself.
He burrows a little deeper into Shen Yuan's embrace. "It is because my love language is acts of service."