He is making a fool of himself—he's smearing his tears all over Sagramore's face—but he kisses him open-mouthed and desperately. The last time, he'd just wanted to see what it was like, and Sagramore was the most available and agreeable option. But now he wants someone to be kind to him, and touch him—stroke his hair and whisper praises—and when he feels like that, he goes to his wives. He doesn't mean to make Sagramore a substitute for Shen Qingqiu—or if he does, then maybe everything has only been a substitute for Shen Qingqiu, maybe everyone he's ever touched he's only desired because he didn't know Shen Qingqiu existed. He wraps his hand around he back of Sagramore's neck, holding him lightly in place, and practically crawls into his lap.