[closed post] everything ends

[protagonisthalo]

((cw: death & gun violence))

Luo Binghe typically comes to full alertness instantly upon waking, his instincts honed by years of constant danger. This time he drifts in and out, his mind struggling to free itself from the mud several times before it's pulled under again.

The fourth time he wakes, there is a little space in his head for thought. He is able to wonder what he's doing here, why he isn't in his bed, especially with Shen Yuan's warm weight on his lap—

Not warm. Luo Binghe's eyes fly open, and red fills his vision. Shen Yuan, limp in his arms, blood all over both of them and the floor. He cups Shen Yuan's face—right where he must have already cupped it, if the fingerprint smears of blood are any indication—and sheer panic, as strong and sudden as pain, overrides the dullness throughout his body. "Shen Yuan," he gasps, putting a hand to his lover's chest. Dried blood nearly obscures the small, deep wound there. He leans down to put his cheek next to Shen Yuan's lax mouth. No breath. No qi emanates from his body either, not even as much as a mortal human would have, as though Shen Yuan were an inanimate object.

Luo Binghe stares, frozen. An old darkness is stirring in him. His mother, lifeless on her sleeping mat in their little shack, unable to take even a bite of the congee he'd brought her. He knows how it is to lose something irreplaceable; his body knows the path of it. What seems impossible, in time, comes to feel inevitable. Luo Binghe can no longer imagine what his life would have been like if his mother hadn't passed. But here, in the suspended instant of loss, it still feels possible to reverse it. The world has shifted, but not yet settled into its new shape. Shen Yuan was just here—the last thing Luo Binghe remembers is welcoming him to their anniversary dinner—and it seems trivially easy to reach back, pull him out of that memory and overwrite the bloody tableau in front of him. He gazes at Shen Yuan, seeing without understanding, his mind fighting for each last moment of blankness before comprehension ruins him.

Magnus, he thinks, his mind moving slow as honey. He needs Magnus; Magnus will help. He gathers Shen Yuan in his arms and pushes himself to his feet, swaying dangerously. He feels scoured out, limbs numb, his body pushed past some breaking point he doesn't remember hitting. Xin Mo is at his feet. The sight of it rouses fear that Luo Binghe doesn't understand; his mind is too preoccupied keeping itself empty to think about it. He leaves it on the floor and stumbles toward the hallway, Shen Yuan nauseatingly limp in his arms. Magnus lives outside—or did he move inside?—no matter. Luo Binghe will check every room in this place if he has to.

Comments

[summerdude]

Magnus shakes his head at Nina -- nothing helpful, he signs; he can't remember if Galahad has taught her anything or not but surely the core sentiment is conveyed. "Luo Binghe..." he says. His voice breaks. Since when is he the guy who has to push for the acceptance of the finality of death? He's literally never had to be that guy before. His entire thing is about dying and it not sticking. Why does it have to stick to Shen Yuan?

[ravkanwitch]

"We should at least warn everyone," Nina says, keeping her voice practical. If she focuses on what she can do, she'll keep herself moving forward. "About the danger. If Magnus and I tell people, maybe someone--" She doesn't want to give Luo Binghe false hope, but she has a sliver of hope that she's clinging to.

[protagonisthalo]

Luo Binghe couldn't care less about warning other people. There is danger here—from the Mansion, from some unknown resident—and whatever it is, he will find it and eliminate it. But Shen Yuan matters a thousand times more than anyone else here—except Nina. He grasps her hand, squeezing it tightly, abruptly terrified that fate is not finished with him. "Nina, the talisman I gave you, you have it on you?" She is powerful, but Shen Yuan is more powerful, and he still...

[summerdude]

Magnus, meanwhile, is turning back to Shen Yuan, carefully lifting the bullet away from his limp form so he can hand it to Nina. He hates this. He hates this!!! He fiddles with Shen Yuan's clothes so that the bloody rip in them is hidden.

[ravkanwitch]

Nina nods. "I have the talisman," she confirms. She can still hear Inej's voice ringing in her ears. Let him go, Nina. She shakes her head slightly. Not yet. Not again.

[protagonisthalo]

Reality is slipping away from him again; it seems to distort whenever his eyes land on Shen Yuan's beloved face. He wants to retreat to his room and put his head in Shen Yuan's lap, letting Shen Yuan run long fingers through his hair and complain about Luo Binghe's taste in literature. It's not possible that that is lost to him. His thoughts swim around it, making him dizzy and disoriented. He needs to think, it's never been more important for him to figure out what to do, but Shen Yuan is the one who can always calm him down.

He jerks when Magnus touches Shen Yuan's clothing, instinctively protective. Magnus doesn't even think anything can help—he has already given up on Shen Yuan despite their supposed friendship. This mansion is a place where time and space themselves bend around its residents' needs. The boundary between this world and the next may be just as permeable. Luo Binghe will make it be so. He bites the inside of his lip hard enough to taste blood, and regrets it when it makes him want Shen Yuan to fuss over him like he does with any small hurt. This is intolerable.

"I won't accept it," he says, voice hoarse. He stands, holding Shen Yuan closer. Luo Binghe carried him to bed like this just days ago after Shen Yuan showed him his haircut. He'd been so shyly eager for Luo Binghe to see it, so transparently happy at finding a way to differentiate himself further from the person who hurt Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe's eyes ache. He has to get away from Magnus' and Nina's sympathetic gazes.

To Nina he says, "Use it to call me if you discover anything useful, or if you feel yourself in a hint of danger. Otherwise, I'll—I'll handle this myself."

[summerdude]

"Luo Binghe..." How had he and Shen Yuan never gotten around to talking about funerary arrangements? They'd talked about how weird it was for Magnus to break in to see his own visitation before it opened, for... some reason; he can't remember why, now. Shen Yuan had been in Ragnelle's body at the time, so maybe that was why? And Magnus had been... thinking about bodies? And Shen Yuan had said something about basically being a ghost possessing someone else's body, right? But they hadn't talked about what they wanted to have done if they died again, because it hadn't been necessary, because they weren't going to die again. Magnus doesn't know what Shen Yuan wants for his funeral. Shen Yuan isn't supposed to be dead.

Shen Yuan was a ghost piloting someone else's body. What if his ghost is still around somewhere? He can't be dead. He just can't. He's not supposed to die. No one is supposed to die.

Magnus's eyes fly open. He has to talk to Hanguang-jun. He can't say anything to Luo Binghe, because what if he's wrong? False hopes are the worst. (What if Shen Yuan is actually dead?) (He can't be.) (But he is...) Magnus still remembers the few minutes where he thought his mom might be in Valhalla, too. He can't do that to Luo Binghe. Or should he? He widens his eyes at Nina, trying to communicate his thoughts, his questions, without saying them out loud.

[ravkanwitch]

"We're here for you if you need us," Nina tells Luo Binghe, surprising herself with how firmly she says it. "You don't need to handle this alone."

Magnus is included as well because she can tell that his thoughts are suddenly flying as fast as hers, thinking through options and questions. She can't read his mind -- but when he looks at her there is one obvious thing that he could be asking her, knowing her abilities. With a jolt, she realizes that she, Nina Zenik, is a bit of an idiot. She's so focused on the jurda parem-- Shen Yuan is dead, yes. For now. But she's the Corpsewitch. She can speak with him, ask him what happened, and maybe help figure out a solution to all of this. "I can't hear him right now," she tells Magnus lowly, as she watches Luo Binghe turn to leave, Shen Yuan's body looking much too small in his arms, "but I should be able to talk to him if he's around. I'll keep trying."

[summerdude]

Luo Binghe is gone, and with him, the body. Magnus slumps, trying not to shake. "He said you have a gun," he says, holding up the bullet. "So you know things about them? I think it was a pistol, that I saw in his memories. Do you know anything about bullets? Is this helpful to you? Or should I take it to Hanguang-jun?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina shakes her head, tears beginning to prick the corners of her eyes now that Luo Binghe is gone. "No, I was only firing them because-- My friend Jesper was our gun expert." That seems like so longer ago, practicing at the firing range with Janet and Laertes, Luo Binghe coming up to her, worried about Shen Qingqiu.

[summerdude]

There are smudges of dried blood on Magnus's jeans. He swipes a hand over his face, which is how he learns that his nose, too, had bled. Fuck. He wipes it off on his jeans, next to Shen Yuan's blood, and shoves the bullet in his pocket. "Nina," he says. "What do we do?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina takes one deep, only slightly quavery breath. It was a lot easier to be strong with Luo Binghe around. "I don't think we can tell everyone -- not yet. There's something I need to try and figure out first. But ...I think Lan Wangji should know, at least."

[summerdude]

"I can find him." Magnus wants to find him either way. "I'll see if there's anything he can do with his cultivation stuff." But he pauses, for just a moment, still bone-deep shaky. "I -- Can I -- do you want a hug?"

[ravkanwitch]

Nina immediately, without hesitation, folds him into a tight hug.

[summerdude]

Magnus squeezes her back exactly as hard as he's been squeezing Galahad, post-loss-of-enhanced-strength. He's feeling so trembly.

[ravkanwitch]

She pets his back soothingly for a few seconds, as if he was Inej, just woken up from another nightmare about the Menagerie -- then sits back and looks him in the eyes. "We'll figure this out, okay? Saints willing." It's been a long time since she's prayed to the Saints, and this isn't even their domain, but perhaps she'll offer up a prayer or two tonight.

[summerdude]

Magnus is totally the one soothing Nina here. Totally absolutely definitely. "Yes," he agrees, fiercely.

[ravkanwitch]

Deep breath. Alright. "I need to go check something out. We can meet up later after we make sure everyone else is safe. Don't worry about me-- I have Luo Binghe's amulet and I can take care of myself." Something in her heart jumps when she thinks about the fact that whatever happened to Shen Yuan, Luo Binghe wasn't able to stop it, but she's carefully keeping it together.

With a nod at Magnus, she heads off to look at the scene of the crime. If there's something there, something she can use or track down Shen Yuan's spirit with, it's worth taking a quick look at. It's easy enough to fine... the room with the fallen chandelier and all the broken glass, the spilled food... Nina makes a note to find some volunteers to help her clean it up later. There's nothing of note in the wreckage, though, aside from the bullet that Magnus already has. Nina turns to go.

[peaklordshen]

NINA

[ravkanwitch]

Nina spins in a circle, glancing wildly around the room. "Shen Yuan??"

[peaklordshen]

The room looks just as it had before—beautiful food, scattered underneath the twisted remains of the chandelier. Wine, and blood.

———nk fuck god okay you can hear me. --- inghe okay??? Where's Aornis??? I can't———

[ravkanwitch]

"Yes, I can hear you-- Aornis?¹ The blonde woman, right?"

A second later, Nina stands in the room, blinking at everything around her. How did she get inside?

¹Ping!

[peaklordshen]

---es, the blond woman. She killed me——

[ravkanwitch]

Nina startles, as if hearing the voice for the first time. "Who's there?" She asks, tone wary. "Shen Yuan?"

[peaklordshen]

A brief and startled silence, and then:

Yeah, still me??